The Art of Holding Space: Wisdom from Astrologer Jessica Lanyadoo
A powerful lesson for therapists, coaches, and anyone who supports others.
This interview is dedicated to my fellow readers. Astrology readers. Tarot readings. Therapists. Coaches. New age consultants. Anyone whose profession is to sit and hold space for another human.
Not you? Keep reading. There’s something in here for you too, I promise.
You know that one client — or friend or family member — who comes to you with the tragically toxic relationship? Her situationship’s cheated on her six times (once with her sister), he lives in her flat, doesn’t pay rent, and every time she asks what’s going on with them he has the nerve to say — with complete confidence, “I’m just not ready for a relationship.”
That client. Now, I don’t know about you, but my first instinct is scream RUN. Before she can finish speaking, I’m devising a plan for her to get out now. I’m mentally creating a list of book recs, free resources, lighthearted but empowering memes, etc. etc.
But you know what? As an astrologer, that’s not my job.
I’ve learned a lot of things by listening to Jessica Lanyadoo’s podcast Ghost of a Podcast over the years, but the most important takeaway has been that all relationships start with oneself.
Whenever I find myself wanting to scream run, I think of Jessica, take a deep breath, dive into the chart, and help my client figure out how they got into that relationship in the first place and what they need to cultivate healthier relationships.
Maybe you’re not an astrologer, but you’re still someone whose role is to hold space for another person. Your only responsibility is to help that person see themselves. Not tell them what to do or how to react.
And most days, that’s the hardest thing.
With over three decades of experience as a consulting astrologer, Jessica Lanyadoo has a deep well of wisdom to draw from. As an astrologer, medium, and the celebrated host of the podcast Ghost of a Podcast, she has guided countless individuals through life's complexities.
In the following interview, she reflects on her personal journey and shares the kind of powerful advice that has made her one of the most trusted voices in modern astrology.
“I don’t want to be taught by someone — or have somebody consult with me — who doesn’t have their data in their damn bones.”
Vivi Henriette: You were giving a talk, and you said something to the effect of… that one should study astrology for at least —I think the number was seven years — before putting themselves out there as an astrologer. Am I getting that correct?
Jessica Lanyadoo: You are. I stand by that statement. Yes. It's a full Saturn cycle — a cycle of maturization. And it's not just astrology. It's anything. If you're trying to be a dog trainer, seven years of study and practice before a kind of maturity is achieved. And that maturity, I am convicted, is not just based on having an understanding. It's having that practicum. It's having that Saturn cycle where it's in your bones. I don’t want to be taught by someone — or have somebody consult with me — who doesn’t have their data in their damn bones.
Vh: I know that you started in astrology young—how did you get into it?
JL: I remember being on my Hot Wheels in 1979 as a little, little kid and thinking to myself, I am never gonna lose my wisdom teeth. I'm a Capricorn. I'm gonna keep my wisdom teeth. Now, I have no idea how I knew at that little age about teeth and Capricorn, or wisdom and Capricorn. But I remember that—it's one of my strong early memories. And true enough, I'm 50. I have all my damn wisdom teeth. Let me just knock on wood, okay?
Vh: In your practice and lived experience, what is the best use of astrology as a tool?
JL: I genuinely don’t know how people live without quality astrology. I genuinely don’t—because it has helped me to cultivate greater self-acceptance, to work with my nature, to make better decisions, to recognize, oh, the tide is not turning. I actually have to stay here, or the tide is turning—I should move, I should try to change. Like, it helps me to know what I’m dealing with and to make good choices. So for me, it’s an invaluable tool of self-care and... kind of like life management.
Vh: What do you see for the future of astrology?
JL: It’s interesting. I’ve never thought about it exactly in those terms—like, of astrology—but I do think we’re on the precipice of World War.
And I do think, within the United States, you know, the Pluto return of the United States has occurred. And we are in the collapse of the empire. And in the collapse of an empire, we are already seeing the violent scapegoating of specific demographics of people.
I haven’t researched specifically astrology within that context. But it would be hubris to imagine that in a Christian nationalist revolution, they’re not coming for the witches.
I mean—who could defend that idea? And again, I say witches because people who are into astrology are primarily queers and women.
…It would be hubris to imagine that in a Christian nationalist revolution, they’re not coming for the witches.
Vh: Can we talk a little maybe about—define for people—the humanistic movement in the context you’re using it, and maybe humanistic astrology?
JL: You’re not the first person to ask me to define it, and I really should do more research so I can properly define it. I can’t define it. I’m not gonna be able to define it. Humanistic astrology specifically does not put the astrologer on high. Let’s start there. So immediately, that pushes away a lot of the astrology world.
The astrologer is simply a person who has studied a craft and has a tool. It centers and reinforces my humility as a human who’s using astrology. And humans are fallible—we make mistakes, we are opinionated, we are colored by our own experiences and values. Humanistic astrology meets the human where they are. From more of a social work perspective, which I have. It’s a harm reductionist approach.
So I am always—as a humanistic astrologer—gonna meet the person where they’re at. I’m not going to look at their chart and be like, ‘Oh, you work in corporate America? You could be a psychic.’ No. You meet someone where they’re at. You don’t throw them into your worldview.
ABOUT JESSICA
Jessica Lanyadoo is a Humanistic Astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator. Since starting her practice in 1994, she has gained a global audience, offering one-on-one consultations, teaching astrology, and facilitating mediumship events. Known for her grounded and accessible approach, Lanyadoo helps individuals cultivate emotional intelligence and navigate life with clarity.
Lanyadoo is the author of Meditations for Your Sign (2025) and Astrology For Real Relationships (2020) and hosts the acclaimed podcast Ghost of a Podcast. Her work has been featured in CNN, The Today Show, Rolling Stone, Vogue Italia, Time Magazine, Oprah Magazine, and more.
Join Jessica at patreon.com/JessicaLanyadoo and learn more at lovelanyadoo.com
ABOUT VIVI
Vivi Henriette is an LA-based astrologer and tarot reader whose collaborative approach to divination weaves in storytelling and mythology to create a container for her clients to explore their personal narrative. She’s the host of the Los Angeles Astro Salon at the Philosophical Research Society and the podcast TALKTALKTALK and producer of LA Astro Fest.
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